My entire life, I’ve felt stuck in this uncomfortable straddle between confident and fragile.

It’s been hard to reconcile how these two traits can coexist... mostly because one doesn’t fit into the identity I want, but also because it makes being me confusing.

Many times, I’ve felt like a fraud, and it wasn’t because I did anything to anyone. For a long time, I didn’t even understand why I felt like a fraud. It felt like looking at my identity through a funhouse mirror – I couldn’t tell what was real and what was distorted.

I’ve always been a rule-breaking free thinker with a sense of humor that’s an acquired taste. I’ve also always been an empath with a very sensitive soul.

I was the little girl who the teacher had to partner with in science class because she was too shy to tell anyone she didn’t get picked to be someone’s partner.

I was also the little girl who would meet up with her best friend at recess to hatch a plan for getting out of the field cleanup without missing out on the donut reward that was to follow.

I was the brains of the operation, and we totally pulled it off, if you were wondering. 🤣

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It’s like, how can someone be such a hardcore rebel yet so deeply sensitive?

Early on, I learned to suppress my softer side.

Later on, I learned to suppress my rebel side.

By 40, I was a half-baked lasagna who had a lot of feelings + no sides, beyond the box I’d shoved myself into.

Now, at 45, after 3 years of unpacking my 50 shades of batshit crazy, I’m celebrating the fuck outta my contradictions – they’re what makes me… ME.

That’s true individuality - too complex to be an exact science + too unique to explain it in absolutes.

The internet indoctrination has stripped the individuality out of us and made us feel wrong for our contradictions, but all the duality we’re carrying around is what makes us real… and human.
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Think about your latest learning curve for a second.

Maybe that's writing, designing, positioning, or messaging? Whatever it is, you desperately need to learn some things, right?

​But, not just any ol' expert off the internet block is going to cut it.​

That one lady was so high energy, her sales video made you want to hibernate for the winter.

That guy you found on YouTube was so full of himself and his fake-ass jet-setting lifestyle, your eyes started rolling back into your head so far they were clicking.

That other woman, the one whose ads you saw on Facebook, seemed cool, but after she invaded your inbox 50+ times a day, you got the hell outta dodge.

You have the triggers to prove it – not every brand/expert is for every person. What makes someone “for” us is what makes them some ONE.

YOU’re the perfect person for your kindreds because of who you are, including all your gloriously human contradictions… not what you offer.

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Our individuality, by its very ooey-gooey nature, sets us apart from everyone else in an exceptionally memorable way.

The most instantly unforgettable thing about YOU is the way you navigate the two "opposing" traits or elements that exist in your identity because that complexity is what makes you so real that we can actually connect with you on a heartfelt, human level.

Maybe you’re an atheist in a world of Christian homeschoolers.

Maybe you’re a left-brained hopeless romantic.

Maybe you’re a western doctor who makes + sells eastern aromatherapy products.

Maybe you’re a video coach who’s on the spectrum.

Maybe you’re a rebel with an ultra-sensitive soul.

Those two things... that don't usually coexist successfully but do for you... THAT'S where you become totally distinguishable from everyone else who does what you do.

There might be a lot of video coaches out there, but how many of them can truly understand the fears associated with being on video more than a 2nd generation behind-the-camera-guy, who despite all the “on the spectrum” odds, overcame his own debilitating fears about being in front-of-the-camera to become The Godfather of Video.

True story. That’s my buddy Lou Bortone. He's like no other video mob boss you've ever seen. Check him out!

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I double-dog dare you to step into YOUR individuality + be exceptionally memorable!

Here’s how you can start:

STEP NO. 1 – Make a list of all the "opposing forces" you have in your identity.

STEP NO. 2 – Under each “opposing force,” list the specific struggles and triumphs these different dualities (a.k.a. contradictions) have presented in your life.

STEP NO. 3 – Write an email, post a Note (if you’re on Substack) record a video or podcast, sharing your opposing forces, struggles, and triumphs. Rinse + repeat

STEP NO. 4 – Keep your listening ears on because your kindreds will tell you what resonates the hardest for them… and when they do, lean in, dig deeper, and share what comes up.

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This hardcore rebel is still learning how to embrace her ultra-sensitive side, but it feels good to know what “normal” I’m working with.

There’s been a lot of empowerment in understanding exactly how I can ping + pong between my “burn the MFer down” side + my “please see me + love me” side.

It’s nice to know that I don’t have to suppress any shades of my personality because I’m more of a duck-duck-goose kinda broad than a hide-n-seek one.

I'm great at finding hiding places, so I end up sitting there wondering if anyone will ever find me.

I prefer to be on top of the bar, welcoming people to the party.

COME IN + MAKE YOURSELF COMFY... 💃🏽🥃

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To giving your SELF the permission to be all 50 shades it is because that’s what your kindreds want more than anything – the real complex YOU!

Dre ‘The Rebel Who Cries a Lot’ Beltrami

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​P.S. I did something kinda brave… and totally messy. Warning: Dre on camera for a whole 6 minutes.

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